#13 Don’t just celebrate a holiday the day of, but also celebrate it the day before and after*

Mozambicans sure are party animals of the world. Not only do they love to party on their holidays, but they love to celebrate their holidays the day before and after just for good measure. As much as it sounds like a great idea to make every single-day holiday into a raging three-day affair, it’s actually quite unproductive. Take school for an example. The day before a holiday, everything shuts down at 12pm. It’s their idea of respectfully observing the holiday. Hardly anyone in the afternoon before goes to school and the same for the day after. It’s seen as a day of rest to recover from all the partying the day before. On the following day school attendance is a bit better, but still difficult to actually teach a decent lesson since 75% of the class is missing. * The only exception to this rule is Teacher’s Day. Oh, of course you must be thinking that because teachers deep down inside want to educate their students, that this must be the only holiday where it doesn’t turn into a three-day event. What other better way to celebrate our hard work by doing what we love the most, teaching. Wrong. They go bigger. A one-day holiday because at least 5. Unlike the swept under the rug, Teachers Appreciation Day, back in the states, here in Mozambique it’s a big, big deal. All it is though is an excuse to drink. Drink on Teacher’s Day. Drink on the day before, drink the day after, and why not, drink the whole week before it. WE NEED the whole week off, because we do work very hard the 2, 3 or 4 days a week we actually do go.

#12 Write extremely difficult exams, but then pass everyone

One of the worst parts about exams here is that they are extremely difficult. They contain poorly worded questions, confusing formats and they are not culturally relevant. In addition it’s not surprising to come across several typos and just poor grammar usage. This applies for tests of every kind; from a simple test/quiz to providential exams to the national exams. It’s scary just how much of a joke it is here when a teacher wants to properly evaluate the students knowledge of a topic, its almost as if they want all the students to fail. The reason I am doubtful about their intentions to fail students is only because they just end up passing them anyways. The saddest thing then is that the students actually think they know the material when they see they passed the class or any test. A student that passes English will think he knows how to speak English when he in reality he knows a total of 2 phrases (Hello, how are you? I’m fine.)

#11b Students are required to receive politicians anytime they visit.

One week, the governor of our providence wanted to visit out district and town. His visit was scheduled for Monday so when we got to school we discovered the day was canceled because it was a requirement for all students to receive him in town. School was then canceled and then he didn’t even come. The day after, the same thing happens but he shows up four hours late. School of course was canceled again and by the time he arrived everyone had left the reception because they had other things to start doing. Wednesday and Thursday were normal, but Friday he was coming back through to have a town meeting sort of thing. So of course that day was canceled too. Now what kind of politician requires students and teachers to abandon their classes just to see him make a speech about the movement and progress of our town? How does this reflect on the importance of education in their country? Three of the five days we had in that week were lost for nothing and no one does anything to question it.

#11 Teacher Meetings Must Happen During School

One day I am teaching in class and the school director comes by. “We have a meeting now.” “What? Now? I just started this lesson.” He leaves and I am left with the students rolling their eyes and closing their notebooks. “What’s going on?” “You have a meeting” “Oh, ok… then ill be right back, don’t go anywhere” Students laugh and I leave. The nice part is that they don’t happen often, but when they do happen it is always during the middle of school when we should be having lessons. Never before school, not after school, and god forbid not on weekends or holidays. Now I understand that a sacrifice of an hour or two every month is reasonable to open a dialog between the professors and the directors, but what usually happens is that some boss shows up and just shouts about how crappy our school is. The students arrive too late. The students leave too early. Where are all the teachers? Where are your lesson plans? Students bring cell phones in the class! THIS SCHOOL SYSTEM IS A JOKE! They pick apart everything that is wrong. They blame the directors. The directors blame the teachers. The teachers blame the students. The students blame the directors and administrators for interrupting their school day to have meetings with their teachers. So what do the students end up doing? They go home because they know they just lost that day of school. Then when the meeting adjourns, we walk out and go home as well. The administrator that was just yelling at us too isn’t even fazed when he leaves and sees no one at school. The importance of education here is not as respected as it is in other parts of the world. It’s unfortunate because school to people here is only important because someone from a different part of the world said so. No one is really aware of the actual benefits from an education. Nothing organic is really catching on, there is no real development due to too much corruption, and schools are just empty buildings that they are told to fill with “students” and a “teacher”. What it means to be a “student” or a “teacher” is taking a while to grasp. So what is the future of this westernized approach to education in Africa or Mozambique? I really don’t know, but from where I am at, I don’t see a successful future. Sure there are cases that prove it to work, but this current system is depriving way too many people of the education we deserve as human beings. And unless there are some radical changes in either the pedagogy of Mozambican schools or the mindset and approach of community members addressing their education system, we will continue to serve no one and persist to set back the future generations.

#10 Oh you are sick today? You must have Malaria

Every time and anytime someone says they are sick they follow that up with “its malaria”. So you must be thinking… But isn’t malaria a life threatening disease and not a cause for a sore throat or a headache. How did you just walk over an hour to school when you should not be able to rise from a bed?… Yup, that’s what I was thinking too every time I had a student ask to leave class with the malaria excuse. Yes I know Malaria is something I should not be joking about, but it gets kind of ridiculous here when a headache or upset stomach is considered malaria. Malaria maybe is the word for “sick” or “ill”. Maybe “estou com malaria” or “tenho malaria” = “I am sick”. It does work out nicely though to have in your back pocket when you do not feel well and don’t want to go to school or just lay down alone. “I have malaria, I need to rest” goes a long way and people back off and let you be.

#9 Boil Your Leaves

One of my favorite things to eat here is boiled leaves. If there is one thing my neighbors have mastered, it is how to correctly boil some leaves and make it pretty darn delicious. This traditional Mozambican dish called “matapa” is made from boiling leafs and then adding peanut flour, onion, salt, tomatoes, and sometimes coconut milk. It sounds simple and not so appetizing at first, but you’d be amazed how far some peanut flour and coconut milk can take a meal. There are different variations of course with the variety of leafs found in Mozambique. The most typical (and my favorite) is with the cassava leaf. Others include leafs of cauliflower, pumpkin, and several types of beans. Even a local, Northern Mozambican specie of the Acacia tree family offers a lovely tasting leaf to use in a matapa. And as much as I like it, I also like to joke about it as well, because really its just a soup with leafs served with rice. The only leafs I have not seen boiled are lettuce and cabbage, but cabbage comes close when you fry it here. Everything else though you will never need to ask how to prepare it, just boil it, drain it, and add the rest of the ingredients. I really can’t wait to make this back home twenty years from now. This has got to be one of the most fascinating foods to me here because why did I never think to eat a leaf? Why did I always assume to compost them?

#9b Never add Tomatoes in a Matapa made from Cassava